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Terri Rocha's avatar

Your words are so beautiful and I'm moved to tears. There are so many concepts that hit my heart deeply. I hadn't heard of the "Room of Tears" and yet it's the perfect pathway for a new pope. I also resonate deeply with the changes required by motherhood. My 4 children are all adults. The boys all have children and are busy helping the children honor and celebrate their moms, as is right. My daughter hasn't yet had children. Over the years, Mother's Day has become painful for me because I'm often forgotten or get a quick text. They all live far away, so I don't see them.

I read a post from another experienced mother who chose to write letters to her children for Mother's Day, thanking them for the gift of being their mother. I decided that's what I'm doing this year. I am so grateful for the gift of my children. All I ever wanted to be was a mother, and I've been so blessed in these 4 human being who call me Mom. It's helped me change my perspective on the hype of Mother's Day to have a grateful heart for my own mother and for the gift of motherhood. Life asks us to walk through many "Rooms of Tears" on our journey and each walk requires faith that there is something bigger in the next room.

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Oh Terri. Your words here are so beautiful - and powerful. A testimony to your love and strength, to bring beauty out of pain. What a gift you are to your children, even if they have not acknowledged it on Mother's Day.

I wrestle with this holiday too, even though motherhood is one of my deepest callings & among the greatest gifts of my life. I love hearing of ideas for celebrating our own motherhood in ways that bring us life. Thank you for sharing!

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Liz Cooledge Jenkins's avatar

Love this, and especially the thought of women reminding one another, "Remember when you did what you thought you could not do?" I see this resonating not just with literal birth but also with all the impossible things women do daily and all the creativity we bring into our world. Thank you.

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Absolutely, Liz. All the goodness and creativity that we birth into the world is a wonder and a source of strength.

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April Grace's avatar

This broke me in 2, weeping, for my children and, even more, for our Church. I pray that our next pope is holy like Moses. 💔 🙏🏻

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you, April. And Amen!

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Catherine Anne Sullivan's avatar

Stunning, Laura. Even the way you describe the physical spaces sounds like birth: the cavernous womb of the Sistine Chapel, the narrow birth canal of the Room of Tears, then pushed out into the wider world. You are so right: a transition like this is a universal experience and deserves its own sacred space (whether physical or temporal) to be acknowledged. Loved this essay! 🩷

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you, Catherine. The way the physical architecture can mirror the human experience—especially in spiritual spaces—is so striking, isn’t it?

Writing this made me think about each pope’s mother, too…

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Jen Baden Howard's avatar

So very beautiful, and profoundly so, too, reading this after the news and scenes from Rome this evening. 🙏

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you, Jen! All the footage from this week is still spinning in my head.

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Katie Kruger's avatar

The St. Cloud Target bathroom stall where I read my first positive pregnancy test, fully expecting a negative to show the blood drive lady that I was not, in fact, pregnant, just a little late 🤣😭 The earth tilted and I heard a voice from within: I am a sacred vessel.

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Your words gave me goosebumps, Katie. A sacred vessel indeed!

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Katie Kruger's avatar

Laura, I also have to tell you, I was chaplain-ing at the hospital yesterday. I am usually a chaplain of few words, but I found myself sharing the gist of this essay with several families in the midst of their own rooms of tears. Including an infant loss family, who very much appreciated the sense of companionship. Thank you for helping to write those stories 🙏🏻

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Margaret Benson's avatar

Katie, your experience in Target is a beautiful example of temenos.

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Sim Peckson's avatar

I found this essay refreshing and, like many here, moving. After everything I’ve read comparing and contrasting the different papabili, reading your reflections felt like stumbling upon an oasis. They remind me our Church is Mother before she is led by Peter, making this often invisible truth easier to believe in and touch. Thank you. 💛

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Beautifully said, Sim! It's such a powerful image to reflect on: our Church as Mother, nurturing and caring for us, and pushing us out into the world.

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James Schaefer's avatar

Very beautiful explanation ,thankyou very much much

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Anne Teddlie's avatar

Lovely, Laura. It gives me tears for mothers, popes, and indeed all of us who live this life.

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you so much, Anne!

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Linda Olson's avatar

There is a fine line between our births and our deaths. 🥲. We are surrounded by them. My daughter had trouble getting pregnant and bringing a child into her marriage and into the world. Finally, she was blessed with 2 small children that rocked her world after five miscarriages. And now, at 39, she finds herself pregnant with twins. There are risks. There is that fine line between death and life. Life changed when each child took hold and held steady in her womb. Now two are holding steady and about the size of a tangerine. Life/death —change for her, her husband, her children, me, and more.

I attend an old church, and am the third generation in my family to do so. It’s struggling to find its way. We are top heavy with older adults and fewer kids and families . We are struggling with finances and fears that come with it. Our lead pastor sought help from some big nondenominational churches near by. They helped with a little money, and a plan. They could take over our small congregation and infuse it with money and staff. They could transform it into a satellite of their style and brand of Christianity.

Pastor brought this idea to the elders. The head elder decided to share our troubles with the congregation and offered this as one of the few plans possible. The elders felt they had tried everything and nothing was working. Death was coming to the church and it was too old to change.

Most of the congregation was shocked by the announcement and saddened. A few, including our pastor, were hopeful that being assimilated would be just the ticket. But one couple rose up. They spoke with others in the congregation, including a couple of former elders who knew the financial situation. They were certain there was more we could do to remain faithful to our congregational roots, there was life in us yet. They went to the elder board and asked for time to create a five year plan for moving forward without changing our affiliation. They were given 3 1/2 months.

I was blessed to be part of the committee that was formed. With hope and prayer, went to work and somehow created a plan that included ideas large and small, and the financial backing to get 3 years of changes covered. We got funding for a child development center —full funding for something much needed in our community! Those on the committee pledged moneys for three years above and beyond our current giving. We pledged to step up our involvement and come along side the elder board and the church in order to create change. We asked in our plan for the leadership to ask for more volunteer and financial help from the congregation (we haven’t had a pledge drive in years —it seems that is not popular with new folks).

We went back to the elders with our plan. They now had a choice. Assimilation or hard work. The pastor still sought assimilation. But the elders voted to try the plan.

Nothing is certain, but hard work. Labor is hard. You long for the birth, but…it’s complicated and hard. Something has to die, to change. Life is not the same. There is hard work ahead, struggles. There is no guarantee that new life will come. But there is hope —Wild hope! 😊

Today I pray for the cardinals, the mothers, the fathers, the elders, my church and all those who face change. I pray for my daughter and her family. May they know they are not alone. May the Spirit of life and love attend the journey. May a community of saints and ancestors help them along the way.

No plans, no person is made perfect. May we all rely on prayer and contemplation of the spirit within us to see our way forward one step at a time. And may we know we move best in community, not isolation.

Thank you for your beautiful words and connections. ❤️

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

What a beautiful, heart-breaking testimony to the fine line between birth and death. I have felt this so many times, in so many parts of life, and you articulate it beautifully, Linda. Grateful for your words and witness.

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Margaret Benson's avatar

Linda, you and your committee are like the early Christians filled with zeal who walk with uncertainty but led by Love.

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Patty Breen's avatar

A grounding read and reflection as we begin this sacred waiting💕

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you, friend. And I loved your prayer this morning! Linking it here for others: https://www.wisdomsdwelling.com/post/let-the-wind-blow-a-prayer-for-the-conclave

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Patty Breen's avatar

Aww thank you! You never know when holy inspiration will strike😊

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Sim Peckson's avatar

I loved your prayer too!

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Catherine Busch's avatar

You knocked it out of the park as usual! I loved this, and am now also on the hunt for some Room of Tears info outside of Wikipedia…

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you, Catherine! I read some lovely reflections on the room, but I would love to find something meatier to learn more about its history.

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Petra Sapien's avatar

This intentional amd immaculate inspiration not only beautifully addresses the Conclave process and all the possibilities that await new life for the new Pope (now Pope Leo XIV), and the people; It also speaks in perfect alignment with a personal journey. Thank you, 🦋.

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you so much, Petra! I continue to think about the power of this Room of Tears and everything it symbolizes for our Church and each one of us within it.

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Susan Mutty's avatar

So, so beautifully written! Thank you!

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Will Norrid's avatar

Lovely words- challenging and needed reminders in between moments.

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Alexis's avatar

This is SO moving. Thank you. And footnote 5 just about made me weep 😭 thank you.

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Laura Kelly Fanucci's avatar

Thank you, Alexis. That note was so important to me that I tried to rework the whole piece to fit it within the body of the essay! But at the end, I decided its own footnote let it stand alone as well. Thank you for noticing.

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