On crashing & burning (and rising)

Why "best-laid plans" and "2020" are incompatible

Sep 26, 2020

As summer waned, I coached myself:

Remember September.

Make no major changes before October.

You know the drill.

I’ve had kids in school for long enough to know it takes a week or two for everyone to adjust. Foolishly I figured if I multiplied by 2 or 3 to account for Covid, we’d be good, right?

False.

Guess who crashed and burned by the end of week one of hybrid / virtual / homeschooling? THIS MOM.

Now well-acquainted with rock bottom during 2020, I reminded myself there’s nowhere to go but up. Once we push back toward light and air, we are rising again—even if we still feel frantic and flinging.

For those of us maxed out with people or work to tend (or those of us whose temperaments are prone to despair), this is going to be a hard year. No solid ground under our feet, no more certainties.

As I wrote elsewhere, we aren’t going “back to school”—we’re moving forward into a future none of us planned.

Staying present in the present is the only practice that makes a shred of sense. Longing for the past is an exercise in grief; planning for the future feels like staring into fog.

But remembering that God is fully present here and now is a gift. It centers us in the certainty that we are never abandoned, that manna enough meets us each morning, that the Spirit was promised to remain with us always, even unto the end of the age.

(On days that make us wonder if we’re tipping toward the end, this is extra important to cling as truth.)

So keeping the present in mind, let yourself find a corner of rest this weekend. Here are a few holy labors I’ve gathered—to help you pray, think, and act where God is calling you right now.

If you need creative ways to pray

The Ritual app just released a new series of Prayers for Worn-Out Parents. Short reflections on Scripture + everyday life for the 5 free minutes you might scrape together to pray: while cooking dinner, taking a work break, or hiding in the bathroom from your beloved kids.

Click here to download for free—and stay tuned, because we’ve got 3 more sessions coming soon!

If school looks nothing like you planned

Chalk it up to “things I never thought would happen” (aka 90% of this year) but I did a recent radio interview on homeschooling and letting go of every plan we had for this year. Who could have guessed? #2020

If your marriage is struggling

Marriage during pandemic can be intense. And hard. I don’t think we’re talking about this enough. So I wrote about it for Grotto Network.

If you’re itching to create

Shhh here’s a sneak peek: I just launched a new online space for parents.

Create In The Chaos is for writer-parents, but also for anyone longing to create during a pandemic, while working and caring for others. Join us here for free. I can’t wait to share the story behind this project next time…

What I’m reading

Powerful essays that made me wrestle lately (warning: some will make you squirm, and that’s worthwhile right now):

On recognizing vicarious grief as a parent as the school year dawns: “And while I’ve grown grudgingly used to my own misery as a parent during the coronavirus pandemic, carrying the weight of grief I feel for my kids and all they’re missing is a different kind of difficult.”

A theological reflection on fleeing the Oregon fires: “On that long freeway drive, I saw the symbolic purpose of smoke: It forces us to admit that we can’t see where we’re going, and it forces us to rely on God.”

On churches reopening in the time of Covd and remaining inaccessible to many: “When spaces are only safe for the healthiest, the vulnerable can only look over your shoulder to the table of the Lord— they’ll never get close enough to taste.”

How exclusively white images of God distort the divine: Researchers “discovered that when people view God as a white man, they also are more likely to believe that white men are better suited for positions of leadership and authority than women or Black people.”

Why families need friends who are not parenting during the pandemic: “We need you to help us find God in all this mess. Each and every small act of love you give to us families goes a long way — often, much longer than you’ll know.”

The Holy Labor

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